the time I arrive at Carrie Fisher's Coldwater Canyon home,
the author/actress/script doctor seems less like my next interview
subject that, say, a college midterm I've spent the last week
cramming for. Last night I pulled and all-nighter just to
catch her on Later with Greg Kinnear. Before that,
it was Leno and Letterman. Though I missed her on Conan
due to a VCR malfunction, and just plain passed on Regis
and Kathie Lee, I'm still feeling more prepared going
into my Carrie101 midterm than I did for most of my exams
in college. And what's more, the test is open book.
The book in questions is Fisher's third novel, Delusions
of Grandma. Like Postcards from the Edge and Surrender
the Pink before it, Delusions finds its basis in Carrie
Fisher's own "big loud life."In fact, the similarities
between Cora Sharpe, the novel's protagonist and Fisher are
so abundant, Fisher herself often says, "I" instead
of "She" when referring to Cora.
example, Cora makes her living punching up film scripts. Carrie's
lent her pen to such films as HookandSister Act.
Cora has her first child in the book. Carrie had her first
child, Billie, 21 months ago. By the book's end, Cora and
her baby's father are no longer together. Ditto Carrie
and Billie's father, CAA agent Bryan Lourd. Cora's parents
are martially challenged and slightly kooky. Carrie's
parents are Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher.
are some differences. Cora writes with a partner.
Carrie doesn't. Cora's never appeared on celluloid
as an intergalactic royal with cinnamon rolls on the side
of her head. Carrie played Princess Leia in the Stars
Wars trilogy , as well as roles in more recent films like
Soapdish and When Harry Met Sally.
I'm in the middle of a post-Kinnear yawn when the front door
opens and Fisher's housekeeper welcomes my into Casa de Carrie,
a charming mission-like affair inhabited in other eras by
both Bette Davis and costume designer Edith head.
As I survey the room for a cozy and intimate interview site,
I can't help but feel like the last guy in line at a kissing
if Carrie's mouth is tired?
if Conan and Greg and Kathie Lee got the last "kiwi,"
Cora's term for good chat?
about to yawn again when Carrie, half asleep herself, pads
into the room.
where do you want to do this?" I ask.
bed," she groans facetiously.
for me," I say.
What follows are some postcards
from the bed.
HENSLEY: Are you talked out? You've been on every talk
show there is.
FISHER: But they don't really have you say anything
though. I don't know what it was but yesterday was incredibly
intense. At one point during the day I remember falling
asleep holding the hairdresser's assistant's hand. When
I woke up this morning it really felt like I had been on a
Do talk shows
make you nervous?
Letterman. I got really really nervous going on Letterman
and I literally hid under the sink. I mean,
it's the best show and you can look the best or the worst
is so quick.
know and I can do that too but not at his speed and that's
his arena. He cannot fail.
You looked good
on The Tonight Show between the two Johns, Goodman
thought my arms looked like blood sausages. A new part
of the talk show experience is this eye tears and my nose
starts to run. That's the talk show experience for me.
was impressed that everyone stayed on the couch.
was too. I kept saying "Can I smoke?"
I had quit before, and now if have to quit again. I
think I can quit today, sort of.
everyone ask the same question?
gets into a range. Sometimes they're good. A lot
of the thing about, "It's very much like you and this
you find most interviewers have read the book?
could always tell if they have. Leno
confused me when he said he was up to page 73 and you'd already
had the baby. I thought I had the wrong book.I don't
have the baby until the end. I haven't done his show
in years. It was the only bad talk show experience
I had when I came out with Postcards. And I'm
not saying it was bad. It's just that I'm accustomed
to being pretty good on them. He just was in a snotty
mood that night or something so I've just turned it down every
loved when you presented him with the diapers. I think
in the wake of Madonna on Letterman it's rude to not show
up with underpants of some sort.
decided to do it at the last minute. It really threw
him off it looked like. I had run out of all my underwear.
I was going to do it to Letterman but you don't want to fuck
with him. They used to say to me, "Don't flirt
with Dave. He really doesn't like it." But
it's no problem because I don't flirt with anybody.
I can say things that are provocative but I don't consider
it flirting and I'll only do it if I'm desperate. I
suppose I flirted with Greg Kinnear, but I didn't really.
only laid on his desk and announced you were ovulating.
I don't think that would be considered flirting.
ovulating on television. It was way too heavy.
you ever thought about hosting your own talk show?
have to do it like this; in bed.
bed is so soft. I'm laying down now.
very good to lay down, isn't it? I have the best bedding
in the world.
old is Billie?
She's groovy. She's so funny now. She communicates.
"Jokin' mommy. Funny mommy. Crazy Mommy.
Silly mommy." She was at the Tonight Show backstage
and she looked up at the TV and she said, "Get down mommy."
were her first words?
always say the first words are "Daa Daa" because
that's easiest to say. I've always thought that's completely
unfair. The biggest thing I remember is she found her
hand. That's the funniest thing they do and they just
stare at it and it's theirs and it's on them.
She just started saying, "In a minute." "In
a minute" is a big thing of hers. We got
some great pictures of Billie. Fantastic. It looks
like Billie's interview with Vanity Fair.
her home environs?
Did she do the
cliche Hollywood actress shot with her hands in front of her
she's just leaning down and you can see everything, whatever
there is to see.
your book, you write, "There was simply no earthly way
that fetuses could be formed from intercourse. No intercourse
she'd had anyway." Do you think sex is overrated?
I hear people talk about it. I have girlfriends, not
that many though, that love it. Yeah, I like it, but
it's that rare time when all the planets are sort of aligned
with you. To me, it's not anything worth fighting for.
"Oh, let me have him. He has a great ass."
have this theory that the life before this one is like a Supermarket
express line and you have to have 9 items or less and I got
up there with ten so I had to choose between...
Right, like penmanship and I chose penmanship.
come from a frigid family. That's why it's always funny
to me that they say anything weird about my family's sexual
preferences. Sexual preference? Sex isn't a preference.
I had been outed with Penny Marshall in the Advocat. There's
always been rumors this way and that way about me.
it bug you or amuse you?
I wish I had a story. No one ever came on to me, which
is the awful thing. I hear Courtney Love has come out
said she's been with fifteen women or whatever. Who
has the time? Who came on to you? Where
were you? What drugs were you on? But it is what drugs
were you on. I wish that I had some truth to tell but
it is not going to happen at 37. So I went on Arsenio
and he said, "So, you were outed?" And I said,
"Yeah. I'm just trying to imagine the moment it
happened. She came home from work going, "Oh, Carrie,
it was so heavy...the camera couldn't get the shot..."
and I said, "Shut up. Shut up. I'll
go down on you if you'll only shut up."
she have an L for Laverne on her panties?
I have one to for Leia on the other side.
you could just rub L's. The perfect marriage of sex
We really got into it. But I don't have any fantastic
stories. I have a really close gay friend and
I called at one point and I said, "My bisexuality is
being impugned. I want you to start a rumor about me."
people were saying, that you didn't have the balls to swing
like, "She's too afraid. It would be too
real for her." There's probably a simpler explanation
but I don't know what it is. I didn't ever meet the
the book you comment on the fact that in order to procreate
men have to have orgasms whereas women don't. Could
you imagine if they did?
would love it. And I would love it if men had to have
children. I want a government to come in that limits
how long men can procreate for. I mean, I don't like
this thing where women can have twins at 63 and stuff.
I'd rather it be that we all have to stop at 52 so that it's
fair. But that men can have children in their 60s and
stuff, I think is completely unfair.
women because they can leave. You know, you throw out
your old wife that's going through menopause and you get some
new young one.
you say in the book, "Younger women make older men look
younger, while younger men make older women look silly."
awful. Look what, basically, they say about Cher.
You know, it's like, "Have him washed and brought to
my tent." That's gross. There's something
gross about it. But the same wouldn't be true (for a
man). It'd be like, "Oh, look what he got.
you ever gone out with a younger man?
was four years younger.
not that big of a difference.
enough. I mean, at a certain point I'm going to sprint
past some finish line and he's not; the finish line of my
looks, the finish line of my sexuality, the finish line of
whatever. I think it depends on the guy, but I sort of also
think it doesn't. In terms of culturally, if I'm not
a real good girl, then they can discard you particularly if
you're older. I was going to do a magazine called "Deserted
would be its features?
to wear right when you're dumped, what wear two months after
that, then 6, color fold-outs for if you're dumped with children
and then every month you'd have a new celebrity dump.
can have a "Who Dumped Who" centerfold map.
yeah, all the connect-ups of the dumps. But if it's
mutual, you can't really officially get in the magazine.
You can't get a cover. I want to make it hip to be left.
I could have
been in it a year ago.
you in a relationship?
Not with another
should have one with all of us at our house. It's fun
here. But it's not fun if you're in a relationship with
me. It's just fun here if you're in a sort of other
kind of relationship; like Billie and I have fun, Billie's
nanny and I have fun, we all have fun, but the primary relationship
person doesn't have fun, they feel secondary.
of the reasons that Ray leaves Cora in the book is that she
can't give up her friends and her work and make him the focus
of her life.
needed a wife. And so did I. But it's more unseemly
for a woman to do. There was a female actress/star who
had a husband who was something, you know he had some little
job that was nebulous like a producer or something, and the
nickname for him was "the dumb blonde." And
he was a perfectly nice guy, but he was just like with her.
And I think it's emasculating for any guy to be the boyfriend,
the creature at her side particularly if it's a celebrity
woman. It takes a really secure guy to do it and a guy
that knows he has his place there and it isn't the dumb blonde
position. He has to take that for himself, it can't
be brought to him like a cake.
you find yourself editing in your head? Like there's
a red pencil going all the time.
did it on Kathy and Regis. They asked me something about
not graduating from high school and I started down some road
in my mind which had to do with LSD and then I edited myself
because it was some morning show and I figured people would
think it was a terrible thing to say. And I said, "I
just edited myself," and my friend Hannah and Carol cheered.
They knew it was some frightening thing that I was thinking.
I'm putting off writing something, I find myself relishing
the most mundane tasks, like vacuuming, doing laundry, whatever.
used to redecorate the yard, clean the garage. It's
stuff you do when you're pregnant. Nesting things.
you ever had writer's cramp and menstrual cramps at the same
don't ever really get menstrual cramps, but I did get them
on the road this time right as I was going on Charlie Rose.
I was laying on the floor and it was a nightmare.
I'll not get graphic. And I stood up like marionette
strings tightening and walked to my doom.
write of Cora's parents: "Neither smiled much in photographs
but both loved to have them taken."
not true of mine. That's true of the people that lived
in this house, Edith Head and her husband. When we got
this house, we inherited a huge box of pictures of them and
they never smiled in these pictures and my mother said that
Edith Head would knock you down to have her photo taken.
Edith Head's ghost ever appear to you and tell you what to
not. But I did hear that Edith Head, when she got depressed,
used to wander around in a yellow nightgown in the back yard,
and I always expect to see her.
last third of the book deals with Cora's grandfather who has
Alzheimer's Disease. Where did you get the basis for
grandfather had Alzheimer's. He was always saying, "I
want to go home," and he'd be home. "Are we
there yet?" "Are we leaving soon?"
It's the feeling of displacement and not being quite right
in wherever they are in their head and that's how he felt
and then he was put in an old folk's home. He died soon
after he went into the home. What I wrote about was
the fantasy that my mother had of getting an ambulance and
taking him because, legally, if your mate puts you in an old
folks home, we have to remember this, you and I, we can't
get out unless they let us out if we have kind of mental disability,
which I'm sure I'll get.
takes a train ride to Texas in the book. Have you ever
made that trip yourself?
it was groovy. I didn't take it, of course, with my
mother, but I could have.
having your mother along have made it more or less groovy?
My mother would have ended up performing Molly Brown in the
dining car or something. Everyone on the train would
have known that it's my mom because she would have put her
Debbie Reynolds regalia on and it would have been like a huge
thing. It would have been great. She's great,
the book, when Cora, who makes her living punching up scripts,
runs into a beautiful starlet at a party, you write: "It
was no good to be confronted with what she never could look
like, and the fact that she made these young beauties sound
smarter and funnier than they were was a fate she didn't wish
to consider at just that moment."
something that I can't think about. My ex-husband said
it is so unfair that they have this power. It's like
being born with a lot of money. Somebody beautiful is
born with this extraordinary power that they did nothing to
acquire. That's why models are always having to go on
television and say that their Mensa, and say what their IQ
is. Do you know what your IQ is? I don't
know what mine is. I don't even know what my bra size
is for that matter. But, I mean, they really have some
giant IQ? Really? Well, then I don't.
they have, I want the opposite.
I mean, what's the test? Is it about connective reasoning
or is it about information. If it's about information,
I don't have a high IQ. Let's make up our own test.
1: If you were Christy Brinkley and you crashed in a helicopter...
now I hear they're separating? What's the deal?
she wanted to try to get People Magazine covers in one month.
got one for the helicopter.
and this is the second one.
the moment, my answering machine says that I can't come to
the phone right now because she's laying on top of me.
because she fell out of the helicopter?
because, according to People she laid on top of one of the
other passengers and kept them warm until help arrived.
you're answering machine message is that she's laying on top
with Uptown Girl in the background. I bet you give great
just have my daughter on it now. I change it all the
time with her.
think I'm going to start trying to get the celebrities I interview
to do my outgoing messages.
definitely should. It's the most fun.
you be my first?
My mother does some of them sometimes and then it's really
funny. Once she did, "Carrie can't come to the
phone right now cause I've gotten back together with her father
and we're trying to raise her right" and she did one
singing "Tammy" and I'm screaming in the background
like I'm being tortured.
remember reading the Madonna interviews you did for Rolling
Stone. You said in the piece that you were taking care
of your friend Julian who was dying of AIDS at the time.
Is William, the friend Cora takes care of in the book, based
That was heavy. And I was late for the interview, but
it was such a good excuse. If I would leave, Julian
would try to get the nurse to go, so I wouldn't have to pay
for it. It was very expensive, his insurance.
This kills me, these insurance people. I want
to fucking kill them, you know ,with AIDS. They said
he only needed insurance half day. He was incontinent
and he could not walk, so which half of the day do you think
was expendable? He needed nurses care 24 hours so I was paying
for half. And I said, "I'm making this much money
on this rewrite and I will go to hell if I don't share it
with you" and he understood that because he felt too
guilty otherwise. But that day, he let the nurse go
and, of course, he got 106 fever.
he in the hospital?
was in my house. The nurse came back and put him in like an
ice sleeping bag to bring the fever down, so when I left he
was like that. And I arrive to do the interview and
Madonna's in a negligee. That's what she chose to wear
with me like some sex-kitten type thing, mules, the whole
thing, like what those drawings wear in Playboy. It
was so surreal. And I arrive fresh from some medical
drama. Actually, because of that, I think she was very
good in the interview. She was subdued by that information
and it sort of knocked out her thing. I didn't have
to drain her that day of her blow job material, where as the
first time we spoke she just wanted to talk about sex and
penis size. That really matters to you, penis
size? Anyway, he died like five days later.
you ever in your life think that that was something you'd
have to deal with?
never thought about it, but if I thought about it, I would
think yes. Knowing me, that's something more right for
me, in terms of if you think about who I am, than like making
writing about it cathartic?
remember Buck Henry saying to me. " I said, "Well,
Julian's dying." He said, "Julian's been dying."
and I said "No, Julian is now...like he's going to die
like in a day." And he said, "Well, don't
tell me about it. I'll read about it." But
yeah, I did need to write about it. My friend Dr. Klein
saw Julian and he said, "Are you prepared for him to
die with you?" and I said, "I don't know."
See, he didn't look bad to me. I mean, I know he looked awful
but when you know someone you think of them in a continuity.
I just factored Julian from all along into the Julian I was
looking at and in that way he didn't look that sick, but of
course, he was dying. He was in denial about it, so
I went with his thing.
that when it comes to your film writing, you're great in emergency
best, but being good at emergency situations is very different
from being there with someone who's dying and having them
rely on you to make the situation okay. That I could do that,
that he gave me the gift of allowing me to be the person that
did that with him and trusting that I would know what to do,
I then knew what to do. He let me be all right about
his dying which made me be alright about mine, and about the
whole issue of it.
the book, Cora says she wishes somebody like her would be
there when she was dying...
then I realized that I would. But I'd be on the wrong
When you first
started writing and probably still, there are people who said,
"Oh, Carrie Fisher's just a spoiled celebrity brat, born
into privilege. What could she possibly have to say..."
Do you think that the generosity you show in your personal
life is how you...
it? Yeah. But it's not financial. I have
to be very large of spirit. I have to think that what
is mine is not mine, but to be shared with anybody who needs
it that is in effect, mine. My choice family,
or who I choose to be my family, who then comes into my circle
is going to be protected by me and they know that and people
that are my friends that have AIDS, I choose to think that
their AIDS is afraid of me. That's a terribly weird
thing to say, but I choose to think it, because it helps me.
in this corner, weighing in at ninety something pounds, Carrie
"Okay, go up against me. Come on. Come on."
one point in the book, Cora announces that she's officially
becoming a gay man. What do you think the connection
is between you/Cora and gay men?
both after the same thing in a way and we don't have the sexual
confusion. We both have man trouble. We
both probably have dominant mothers.
there a sense of humor connection?
And there's an empathy. I really feel that my gay men
friends take care of me and care about me and would go the
distance for me and they know I would do the same for them.
My gay men friends are like my best friends. It's easily
you bond with him?
was like one of those queens that was like a fussy queen,
you know, so yes I bonded with him but the fussy queen thing
is not my dominant queen energetic.
and her friend Bud fantasize about what it would be like if
science could invent wonder patches for things other than
to make you stop smoking; like the mood patch or the chess
patch. If you could have three patches what would
good relationship patch, the money patch and, I guess the
good health patch and that would have to include stuff like
that I would have to not want to do drugs again and I would
not want to smoke. It would be a patch that pretty much
made me Tofu Queen.
Bud has a name
for his private parts...
you ever named yours?
Womp. I forgot to put that in. I'm so glad that
you reminded me. When I was pregnant I would say "Shhh,
the Fuzzy Womp is sleeping." "The Fuzzy
Womp is crowded." That's a good title, "The
Fuzzy Womp Is Crowded." I also have other
names for it; The Lagoon of Mystery.
than the Temple of Doom.
would be the name of your thing. Billie calls hers "Hootie."
"Hootie," she says. "Hootie open."
Hootie ever sleeping?
her age, you bet it's sleeping.
you ever suspected that someone was using the Princess Leia
action figure as a voodoo doll?
ex-husband. I swear to God, he had a little doll of
me and he'd put a pin in it. I found it in his drawer
I promise you. He was made at me at the time.
you feel the prick?
He used to do stuff when he got mad at me that was so weird.
When I think he was probably this age that I am now when he
put pins in the Princess Leia doll, it's so weird. I
should have had a V-8.
long were you and Paul Simon married?
married at 26 but I'd already been with him for around 5 years.
So it was this weird afterthought, or not, and then we stayed
married for a second. I think the divorce was final
after two years and then we got back together again for a
while. So, off and on for like 13 years. There'd
be a year we didn't speak, but that was the relationship.
of the ideas in Surrender the Pink is that two people
who are too similar don't work well together in a romantic
looks like with me, hardly anybody works together.
you want to get into another relationship?
would be ridiculous to do with my child because the time that
you spend on a new relationship is the time that she needs.
of the articles I read said that you'd "given up on coupling."
Not at all. I mean, my father left when I was 1 1/2,
so if I didn't give up then, and I did to a certain degree...I
mean, no, I don't give up. I'm a jerk.
I don't know. I don't have a good role model for it.
My mother is now divorced three times. My father is
married for the fourth time. I mean, it doesn't look
promising. I would like to have other children, otherwise
I would say to you I wouldn't have another relationship.
Do you have
to have the relationship to get the children?
think that you have to at least try to give it the right configuration
at the top, at least you have to be able to say, "Well,
your father and I were happy when you were conceived."
Instead of saying...
were a test tube baby." "I got you at a sperm
bank." I mean, those options are not open to me.
And what would they write in Us Magazine with the little shoes;
"Carrie Fisher and Vile of Sperm." I don't
What was the
most inappropriate thing you ever did in the Princess Leia
wore the bathing suit across the street to an Italian restaurant
across the street. The wookie used to go out in his
you ever do anything naughty in it?
mean like have sex with someone? Not in that outfit,
no. I'm not like that really. We've established
that I have good penmanship too.
I used to steal
the way other people made certain letters and make them my
own. I was a like handwriting kleptomaniac.
had that too about certain R's and T's and stuff. Yet,
I didn't ever say to someone, "How do you give head?"
you were in a game of Truth or Dare and someone dared you
to service an Evian bottle...
do what ever the truth was. To me, I'm much more interested
in the truth anyway. We used to play Truth or Dare in
England and we got people to do amazing things. When
I went to drama school in England it was like a Hollywood
party, like what they think we do here. A piano fell out of
a window, say, once at a party. It was wild. We
had a costume party and I remember opening the bathroom door
and this guy dressed as Hitler was in the shower with one
of the vocal coaches. People would be mating on the
floor and waving to you from underneath someone. Someone
came up to me once and said, "Lynne just threw up on
your bed, but she's sorry." Oh, well then it's
okay, because I only care about good manners. The vomiting
is secondary to how she reacts to it, if she behaves well.
you ever thought about writing about that time?
but I have such a bad memory. I was like 18 or 19 and
I was a virgin.
did you lose your virginity?
was the guy?
guy who lives here now. He was the most normal person
I ever was out with.
people count or don't count as sex always amazes me.
I have friends who'll like perform oral sex on someone and
say, "But we didn't have sex."
that doesn't count as sex, because they didn't actually insert
their genitalia into another. That always kills me that
they don't count it. Also, they don't consider blow
jobs infidelity. "I wasn't unfaithful to you."
mouth just happened do be there."
laid down with him, I like, you know, held on to his genitals,
I did all this other stuff, but that's not being unfaithful.
It's the actual procreative act that makes it wild and woolly."
I know people that are born again Christians that don't count
that they had an affair because they would just like blow
do you keep the trophy they gave you for not sleeping with
in the closet.
you ever been to a psychic?
The recent psychic experience was that Patty Smith went to
a psychic who told her that she'd be living with a woman soon
and the fire happened and her house was threatened and so
she ended up moving in here with her daughter, two mice,
a dog and a cat and one of my dogs ate one of the mice.
you said you were sorry.
the dog barked that it was sorry. Her daughter wasn't
real disappointed as long as she got a new mouse.
I went to a
New Years party when the host brought in a psychic but she
got lost and arrived two hours late. I was like, "Wait,
you're telling me that you're sure I should change careers
in mid-June, but you didn't know whether to turn right or
left on Doheny?"
got a psychic in London when we were working on Empire Strikes
Back and there was a line waiting. Someone was taking
a real long time and we went in the room and (a certain director)
was making out with the psychic and her top was off.
was she basing her reading on? "This hair pattern
on your goody trail tells me..."
you'll be having sex with a psychic at a party soon."
That was the same party where (a certain actor) had sex with
a girl in the bathroom and then left and for the rest of the
party this girl was sobbing in the kitchen. Every time
when my life has been like that, it's been in England.
The English go the craziest. The parties last really
late. There are people on every known drug. "The
person with heroin just got here." "Really?"
"We're playing Poetry Consequences on Cocaine."
"Oh, well I don't really like cocaine but where's the
heroin person?" Parties here, you're lucky if you
can get them to last until midnight. Unless there's
like the drug group that's in my bathroom. "Hey, run
out yet? Or doesn't it matter."
bet you throw great parties.
get your number. You'd be a good thing to these parties.
here with bells on.
what I'm assuming. Literally.
You went to
Liz Taylor's Disneyland Birthday bash. What was that
spent the whole evening with Joni Mitchell going on rides.
But it was only Fantasy Land and no Matterhorn. Now, come
I have friends
who take turns being wheelchair bound so they don't have to
stand in line.
did that with my grandmother. I want to Euro- Disney
with Billie cause there's no lines because the French hate
of Liz, I know you like to make up perfume names. Do
you have any new ones?
feel like them smell like this. Arbitrary; for the man
who doesn't give a shit how he smells. Wolverine; for
the scent of the hunt. I have a lot of them written
down. It's a really fun game to play with Robin Williams
because it just gets him started.
somebody held a gun to your head and made you do an infomercial,
what would the product be?
product for your personality. How to make your personality
better to go with your new body and your new hair and your
new make-up. I'd help people put expressions on
their face and put something behind their eyes. It would
be an exercise tape for your head.
would be on the couch with you like Cher is with Lori Davis?
who needed it. Kate Moss or any one of the other ones,
you see that "Model Conversation" show on MTV where
they all sat around and talked about their lives as supermodels?
think the victory is them just talking and talking and talking
and they think they're saying something interesting because
we're all attending it. The other person on the infomercial
is Madonna. After the Letterman thing she's going to
need that product. I can help her into her next phase.
I think she has to start wearing glasses.
do think you get your sense of irony from?
don't know. Just like looking at my family. Well,
my mother maybe. We'll see this afternoon. She's
coming. That's exciting for you, you can meet mom.
doing a three-way interview today with my mother and Billie
which will be very interesting to hear what Billie has to
say about being in the family.
it hard to find friends that share your perspective on life?
find each other and it's not that easy. It's always
looking for the conversation or the kiwi. (Sings) Once you
have found it, never let it go.
can feel a shift occurring. Can you feel the change
REYNOLDS: I've had my saga of arrival. Didn't
bring my house keys, of course, because people do that who
are normal. So I get to my house and my secretary doesn't
have her keys because she gave them to my houseguest...
no questions after you watch this for a while.
Could not get into my house. Could not get into my car.
Took my secretary's car who had to go to the neighbor's house,
who has a mad dog, to phone. This goes on. Do
you got time for this?
here for the duration.
This is only the last hour. Cause, of course, I had
to work two shows last night, I got to bed at three o'clock
in the morning because I entertained the world.
you live in the Valley?
I have always lived in the Valley. Well, in between
husbands going broke. It depends on the husbands actually,
where I live. I'm not really sure what they're losing
this year. Am I being to provocative? I'm not
ovulating. I have Mental Pause now.
that what that is? Look, Angelo had me sign these first
edition Franklin Mint originals. Isn't it beautiful?
Everyone should have been done like this.
Who said this for how many years?
She doesn't listen to her mama. Wait till I write a
book called "Daughter Dearest." Do you have
a hot roller by
chance? I didn't mean a man.
Do you have the kind you plug in, the kind I've been using
for 17 years. It's called a vibrator. She bought
it for me
a funny thing. My contraceptive sponges expired.
Give them to me then because it doesn't matter.
I have one as a souvenir?
called the Today sponge, yet they're telling you today is
really not a good day to use one.
yesterday's Today sponges.
I'm out of here. Thanks for the sponge and the kiwi.
Wait, what about my answering machine?
are we going to do it?
talk into the mic part there.
this is Carrie Fisher. Dennis can't come to the phone
right now cause we're in bed together, talking about...everything.
You know we're not having sex because neither of us really
enjoy it. But perhaps, who knows, this could be our
Waterloo. At the beep, do it.